Monday, March 14, 2011

rough nights

Last night was not fun. Between the hours of midnight and 8AM, my sensor woke me up at least 8 times. Each time, it was due to a predictive low alert and each time my # was just fine. Yes, my # was dropping, but it was dropping steadily. At one point I mumbled, "stop lying to me," and then promptly fell back to sleep. I woke up with a 90 and decided there was no way I could go into work this morning. I was too tired to care and luckily my workplace is understanding and I have plenty of sick hours accrued. I took a couple bites of a granola bar so that I wouldn't fall low and slept until about noon. I haven't slept in that late for years!

I got up and decided to make a small lunch: a low carb wrap with a chicken patty and string cheese. The wrap is about 3 carbs, and the chicken patty has around 30ish grams of protein, but I ate only 1/2 of the patty. Soon after, my pump showed that I was heading up fast, so I bolused, and when I checked about an hour later, it was around 150, so I wasn't too concerned. I need to brush up on my pumping knowledge because I still don't understand how protein affects blood sugar levels.

I didn't eat much today because I was feeling tired from the night before still and just kind of blah in general. Also my normal eating schedule was way off, and nothing really sounded good. I turned down my basal for a while because I thought I might hit the gym, but then decided I was too tired and would take the dog for a short walk. By the way, the dog I am referring to is not the one in the picture--that dog belongs to my oldest brother and his wife. My blood sugar had gone up to the 200s and that short walk didn't really do anything to bring it down. I did a correction and decided to wait a while before I made dinner. This is where it goes downhill real fast! I had green beans, some sweet potato french fries, a slice of a wheat baguette and lamb. It was delicious, but I am pretty sure I have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to meat and its fat content. I thought I bolused enough for the carbs, and I decided to increase my basal, but only by 10%. Soon after, I was getting the arrow up and I started feeling really sick. I was at 250 and going up so I decided to manually give myself extra insulin over the next hour or two. I know I could have used the extended bolus feature, but I used to pretty good about guessing how much to dose out over an extended time...not so much anymore. I gave myself at least 2-2.5 extra units insulin, if not more, based on the #s I was getting and how I was feeling. Even still, it wasn't enough because I was in the 300s for at least a couple of hours and it was AWFUL. I really need to get some ketone strips. I felt dizzy, nauseated and felt like everything was just too hard...even just laying there on the couch. I was worried that it was taking too long to come down. My roommates and I were about to watch The Bachelor (yes, it's a roommate ritual), but I was so sick and so upset over my high #s, that I called my mom and started sobbing. I share a lot of things with my roommies, and they know all about the ups and downs of my diabetes, but I felt really alone in that moment and I didn't want them to be concerned about me. Instead, I walked into my room and called my mom and cried for a couple minutes. She asked what she could do, and I said "nothing. It's just tiring." Then I wiped my tears and went back in to watch the show, all the while keeping close tabs on my numbers.

Towards the end of the show, I was hovering in the 170s-180s according to my sensor, but the meter read 220 so I gave myself a correction and am now waiting for it to drop to a normal bedtime #. Sensor is showing 150s currently, so hopefully the # will be stabilized soon. Unfortunately I still feel terrible. I feel better than when I was in the 300s but I still feel sick to my stomach, like I might throw up at any time. Me and nausea do not mix well. I haven't vomited from sickness since I was around the age of 7...I am pretty sure my body decided it didn't like the act of throwing up and would not do it again. (I will admit I've thrown up a few times from drinking too much alcohol, but I have no desire to reach that point ever again.)

Part of my frustration is that I feel like I really don't understand my diabetes right now, and I know that I need to understand fat and protein better. There's just so much EFFORT involved all the time. And you have to keep putting forth the effort so you can understand it all better. You have to put effort into re-educating yourself. Sometimes I really wish that all the people closest to me could just carry it for a bit, just shoulder what currently feels like a burden, and then they could truly understand how hard it is and how much effort it takes every single moment of the day. Sigh.


  1. Have to admit that I shed a little tear reading that you called your mom. I know I have to let my girl grow up. I know, one day, she'll have her life and her "Roomie Rituals"...I just hope that she knows I'll always be ready to listen. Give that mom of yours a hug from me, okay?

    It makes me sad to hear how yucky you felt with those high numbers. I'm so sorry...and I hope you're feeling better. Highs like that really bug me too. You're doing a great job managing this beast and living life. Keep up the great work, my friend!

  2. Me too...on the "tearing up over the mom phone call thing". Val, you are doing great. Did you end up getting sick? Or do you think the high was from the protein?

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  3. Thanks, guys! I saw my mom today and gave her a hug. :) I didn't throw up but I did feel nauseated all night and most of today. I am feeling much better at the moment!

  4. awwww. that really sucks. im reading along with you. please share the things you learn !

  5. I have to admit this post pulled at my mommy heart strings. I try to carry the weight of it all for my daughter, allowing her to only do the things she wants to do or feels ready to take on. One day though, she will have to carry it all and it is tough. You are doing a great job! I'm sorry you felt yucky and I hope things got better and those 300s didn't come back to bug you for a few days. Have you heard of T1U? That might be helpful if you are wanting to learn more. I'm thinking about taking the classes so that I can be the best pseudo pancreas possible. I saw that you live in the Portland area. I would love for my daughter to meet you sometime.

  6. PS (I would love to meet you IRL too) =)

  7. the mommy part got me too...hope you are feeling better.
    we are in Portland too....would love to be part of that meet up :-)

  8. I don't think I've heard of T1U, but that is good to know! I'll have to look into that more. I would love to have a Portland meet-up. I can message you both and see what your schedules are like.

  9. I'm catching up on some blog reading today, so I'm a little late to chime in here. This post tugged on my maternal heart strings. I just wanted to jump through the computer and hug you. I bet your mom wishes she could give you a break and take over for a little while.

    D is never easy; that's for sure. I hope now that some days have passed, you're feeling better with better numbers.

  10. i am so jealous of the sleep in until midday - amazing! i have only ever done that twice EVER :)

    i completely agree with that last paragraph! it's a struggle every second of the day, which everyone else doesn't realise... you don't get time out.

    i'm currently reading and researching more about diet and exercise and trying out a low-carb diet, which is incredibly confusing, and it's like i have to relearn everything.

  11. Love that I found your blog! My husbands sensor is wonderful but like yours, we have a lot of sleepless nights with low predictive alerts. Needless to say, I rather awake to the beeping than to the alternative :)