Friday, July 12, 2013

Major League Soccer & the JDRF

Hey peeps,

I don't know if you're into Major League Soccer, but your MIGHT be into the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation (JDRF). This year, Vancouver BC's Community MVP for MLS W.O.R.K.S. is Bobby Samra. He's a really good guy who does great things in his community. If he wins, he'll get $10,000 to donate to the charity of his choice. His charity is JDRF.  A few years ago, Bobby's son was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. A lot of us here know first-hand what it's like to get that diagnosis. And a lot of us know how it affects the people who love us. The JDRF has done a lot for Bobby's family, and now he wants to give back to the charity that has done so much for him and his son.

Now, NORMALLY I would not be voting against my own team (The Timbers!), but voting ends at 2pm PST, and at this point, it's a very, very close race against a Cascadia team (The Whitecaps) and Montreal Impact.

You may love soccer or you may not know anything about soccer. Either way, a vote for Bobby means a vote for the JDRF. If you want to see $10,000 go to the JDRF, please visit this link:

Click on Bobby Samra's name and VOTE! You can vote an unlimited amount of times.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Will You Hold onto My Diabetes...Just for a Bit?

I started this blog because it was extremely therapeutic to post about my d-life. And it helped to "meet" other people who were going through similar experiences and emotions. But then, I decided to stop all of it. I didn't write. I didn't read. But I wondered about what was going on with all of you. And maybe you wondered if I was okay. And I am--okay, that is.

It just became too much. Too overwhelming. I needed a break. But as you already know--you never get a real break from diabetes. Even if you've got a good handle on it, it's still always there.

When I was first diagnosed, I started out with a pretty great attitude about the whole thing. This came after crying in the doctor's office about how I couldn't have milkshakes anymore, of course. (And yes, I know I can still technically have milkshakes, but I also hate the whole mentality of, "I can eat ANYTHING with insulin on my side!)

Anyway. I tackled that whole diabetes thing. I cut a lot of things out of my diet. I learned a lot about nutrition and carb counting. I learned that being low doesn't mean I get to eat a kit-kat bar. I learned how to use a glucose meter and prick my fingers without hesitation. I learned to say things like, "It's really not that big of a deal" or "You could do it if you had to." I learned to NOT say things like, "Fuck you. I'll eat this if I want to, jerk."

I took a break from my insulin pump because I was tired of hiding the thing in my bra. I was tired of feeling it there, always attached. I was tired of inserting the CGM and having one more thing to stress over and obsess about. I was tired of the beeping and the vibrating and the constant mental calculations.

I've been on shots for a year and I've been doing pretty well (hello, 6.7% A1C). But doing pretty well isn't enough. For the last year, I haven't really learned anything new about managing type 1 diabetes. I've just been plugging along. I've been taking care of myself, sure, but I've also been complacent.

More recently, I went to the diabetes expo in Portland. As weird as it sounds, it re-energized me to learn more about diabetes and the products and tools available for me. I realized that while I was taking a break, I was also scooting diabetes under the rug or shooing it into another room.

For the most part, I pretend my diabetes doesn't exist. I look down and don't say anything when people who don't know me make diabetes jokes (would you joke about any other chronic illness, you assholes?). I give myself shots under tables. I never explain why I can't eat just yet or why I don't want a free company lunch that involves lots and lots of carbs. I live with it every day, but I don't let others live it with me. I don't let them see it because I'm afraid I will turn into the kind of person I don't want to be--the person who thinks, WOE IS ME. I HAVE DIABETES, WAHHHH.

To be honest, I feel that way more than I probably should. And maybe that's because I haven't been exposing that side of me. So maybe it's time for me to get back in the game. Share my ups & downs and read about yours. And maybe by doing that I can be a little bit stronger.