Anyhoo. This question has been on my mind for a while now after reading some blogs...do you participate in a late-night snack on purpose? I remember when I was first diagnosed and learning a shit ton about diabetes, I heard that a bedtime snack can be helpful in maintaining blood sugar levels. SO I did that, until it didn't really work for me to do that anymore. I now only participate in late-night snacking when I feel like it, or when I need to for low blood sugar purposes. I'm just curious if it helps your blood sugars or not. For me, personally, I don't want to wake up with a high AND I will admit, I'd rather not have IOB (insulin on board/in my system) when falling into a deep sleep. My body has woken me almost every time I've had a low in the middle of the night (which is not often), but the thought of me unable to wake up is somewhat terrifying. This is why it can be comforting sleeping next to someone, especially someone who goes to bed later than you and hears your sensor going off before you do!
Sometimes, the thought of insulin working away in my system scares me. I try to tell myself that my pancreas did it all the time, and I was never scared then....then again, my pancreas is SUPPOSED to know what to do at any given moment...that was its SOLE FUNCTION. I never knew how hard it had to work. And now that it has failed me, I have to do all the guesswork and though it's "easy" sometimes, it's also hard, scary, overwhelming, etc. the other times. Most of the time it's just second nature, but there are times when I just can't help but think of all the extra work and effort I have to put into keeping myself healthy and alive. If I think too much about the thought that I have to keep myself alive every day, I feel defeated, depressed, paralyzed. I can't think like that, otherwise I wouldn't be able to keep going.
It's funny how easily you can go to a dark place because of diabetes! I started off with the topic of late-night snacking and then went to the daily struggle it can sometimes be. On the outside, I may look healthy, happy and just fine...but on the inside, the death of my pancreas is something that I will never completely get over.