blood sugar, you suck

I've been trying to be more positive and just roll with it, but sometimes it's easier said than done! The title of this is taken from my Facebook status...blood sugar, you suck.

One of the things I really just HATE about diabetes is when it stops me from doing the things I want to do. Maybe it doesn't always stop me completely, but it definitely delays. And then I have to slow down, I have to stop, I have to monitor...I can't just go full force ahead with things. I am impatient. I have energy. I am stubborn. I don't want to stop, but diabetes forces me to. I try not to let it have control over me, but sometimes it just does. That's reality.

The last 2 nights, my sensor has alarmed me non-stop with low alerts. Yes, I was dropping in the morning, but I wasn't in danger of going too low, so it was more annoying than helpful. This morning it kept up its beeping. I checked a couple of times and could tell that I was dropping, but still nothing dangerous, so I let it be. I've made the mistake of eating a glucose tablet before and then waking up to a less-than-ideal #. So it's in the 90s, then I wake up and it's in the 80s...perfect, right? I would think so. I get up, I get ready for work, I make breakfast...bolus for slice of toast, but not for coffee (which has milk in it) because I'm worried that maybe I am going to go low. So it's almost an hour later and my sensor is telling me I'm low, so I test because I'm about to drive to work anyway, and get a 72. Hmmm, odd. Should be higher than that.

I don't know about anyone else, but when this happens, I don't really feel like getting in a car and driving somewhere. I guess what scares me is I have seen the wacky things my blood sugar can do. I've seen it rise really high really fast and I've seen it drop really quickly, too. It could go either way and I don't really want to be in a car while that happens. In the past, while low, I mean really low, I have been known to be really stubborn...kind of like when I was in the low 30s and decided to keep driving to my house while chomping down glucose tablets and checking my blood sugar while speeding down the freeway, even though I should have pulled over! I'll just blame my low blood sugar for impairing my judgment.

So today, diabetes is delaying me from going into work. I had a meeting at 8:30, so I got someone to cover, but I actually WANT to go into work. I don't want to be sitting around my house waiting until I know I am really okay to drive and function like a "normal" human being.