Tuesday, May 24, 2011

give me a break!

No, not a diabetic break--even though I would like one.

I need a break from these embarrassing moments! There is a new copywriter on our team and I called her over to my cube so I could show her some social media stuff. Of course at that EXACT moment, my pump starts vibrating...at this point, I'm not concerned because when I checked it last, I knew I wasn't low or high. I decided to ignore and keep talking, but it's hard to not be distracted when your chest is vibrating. And why the heck does it have to vibrate like 5 or 6 times in a row? 2 or 3 times...fine, got your notice, pump, but more than that? C'mon!

So I continue to talk and it continues to vibrate while I will it to shut up. As we're wrapping up our conversation, my pump starts BEEPING, which is what I get, I guess, for ignoring it. Well, I can't hide the fact that something is beeping when she's sitting right next to me, so I reach up, pull it out of my bra and say "that's my insulin pump." She thought it was a pager (of course), and I was like "no no, I am a type 1 diabetic and instead of taking insulin shots, I'm on an insulin pump that's attached 24/7. So it's just vibrating and beeping at me...it's complicated. " Seriously, why am I so awkward at work when it comes to this? I think it's because I'm not prepared for it. When I've told people in the past, it was because I wanted to and was prepared and I chose to, not because my loud, obnoxious pump forced me to do it! Anyway, we laughed and joked about it a bit, but it's gotta be weird to see something like that. I mean, think about it. Think if you didn't know anything about diabetes...what would you think if you saw or heard something like that beeping? What would you think if someone said the words "insulin pump" to you? Having diabetes definitely feels like being in your own little world sometimes! I think that's one of the great things about meeting other type oners--you don't have to explain anything. Everything is understood in an instant. It's that OK feeling knowing that someone else is "like" us, someone else goes through the same thoughts and feelings and experiences.

I don't blame them though--for not knowing more, for making jokes, for not knowing the "right" thing to say. People have different ways of reacting and processing information. I can't say that I knew all the intricate details of diabetes other than the classic symptoms. You don't really know until it happens to you, until you live it every day. And you don't always care about a cause unless it's close to you somehow--whether it's you, a family member or a friend. Yes, there are things I am passionate about that don't directly affect me or someone I know, but if you think about it, the things you care most about are usually related to you or someone you love. And I think that's human nature, so it's OK that not everyone understands--as long as they try once you tell them.


  1. I agree. I have let that part go. I used to be annoyed by explaining and re-explaining type 1. Over the years, I get that it is complicated and like you said...unless it is near and dear to peoples hearts they won't get it...and that is OK.

    And your chest vibrating has gotta be kinda funny!

  2. I feel like I need a sign sometimes so I don't have to keep explaining! And o-m-g, I wanted to die a little when it started vibrating and beeping... :)

  3. I can just imagine how you must've felt when your pump started vibrating! Of all the times! I'm glad you could laugh and joke with her though. Just think...that experience may have been awkward for you, but you taught her a little bit about type one. You raised her level of awareness. Perhaps the next time she encounters someone with a vibrating pump, she won't be so surprised.

  4. When I'm around people i don't know I tend to just blurt shit out like "Yeah, that's an insulin pump, I have type 1 diabetes so get used to it." I think because of the way I say it, they won't ask questions until later. Meh. I'm not embarrassed. I like to get it out of the way.

  5. I looooooooooooove your blog!!! Love how you are so real and detailed about everyday life!

    Ups, downs, don't matter, you are saying it as it happens. Love that!

    I'm now your newest follower!!

    (fellow type oner)

  6. It must be so annoying to be interupted like that and have to fish it out of your bra. You didn't say why the pump was being so insistant with the vibrating and beeping. High or low?