I don't understand you!

I've been silently screaming this at diabetes all day.

I decided to eat oatmeal this morning because I haven't had it in a while and I can usually count on stable blood sugar levels 2 hours later. I bolused early and even ate my breakfast veeeery slowly while browsing blogs. I had woken up with a 90ish and noticed my BG went up about 20 points while showering. I used to bolus for lost time but I don't really do that anymore...should I? Does my body get slowly resistant in the morning and I need more insulin? So I check my BG before I get in the car to drive to work...250. I am HATING on spikes. I decided to wait it out because I had enough insulin in my system. Sure enough, within 2 hours, it came down to 125. I was happy about that, but I don't understand the huge spike. It makes me feel like I don't know what the eff I am doing.

Then, during the end of a meeting today, my sensor started vibrating. I look at my pump and it says "sensor end." They told me I could wear my sensor for up to 5-7 days if it was still accurate. Well, the last two times I've put in a new sensor it was because the sensor ended after exactly 3 days. My CDE told me to disconnect the sensor, connect it again, then see if it works. It wouldn't find it or reconnect to the old, so I had to choose "add new sensor" and of course then it has to warm up for a couple hours before it kicks in and gives a reading. Switching out the sensor doesn't bug me...it bugs me that I have to wait a couple hours for it to start again. I don't understand why it's ending after exactly 3 days...does it know the FDA rule or something?! They shouldn't always end after 3 days, right?! Is this just a fluke?

Dinner time at my parent's house was fun. My brother, sister-in-law and 1 year old nephew came over and it was great seeing them. I know everyone says this, but I really do have the best and cutest nephew in the world! He is such an awesome kid, and it's been so fun watching him grow up and learn new things. My sensor showed I was at 100ish and dropping so I waited to bolus, which may have been a mistake. I ended up going high a couple hours after dinner...and as I was driving home, it apparently started to go up quickly. All of a sudden it showed that I was in the high 200s with double arrows up...craaaap. I checked my # and it said 220. OK, not too terrible...I will just do a little bolus and check back. I felt a little funny half an hour later so I decided to test and the meter read 118. What?! I was half a second from pounding my cran-raspberry juice when the logical part of my brain kicked in and told me there is no possible way it dropped so much so soon. I decided to re-test and the re-test showed 278. Ummm, awesome. I love getting such a huge variance like that! Obviously my sensor had been right and I was rising fast. Bolus, bolus, bolus. An hour later and my # started to drop with 2 arrows down while I was in the shower, but now it shows a steady high and an arrow up. What?! I don't understand!

Good. Bad. Really good. Really bad. With diabetes, they always talk about the risks--possible health complications, etc. But, they don't mention that those numbers can bring you from a high to a low mood within seconds. I feel like I have been pumping my body with extra insulin for the last 2 hours and it doesn't seem to be doing a thing except keeping it from going even higher than it already is. I wouldn't say I'm in a bad mood, but I'm not in the cheeriest mood either. It frustrates me that the stuff I pay money for doesn't always work or isn't always accurate. It frustrates me that I can't figure out my highs. It frustrates me that one bad number can put me in a bad mood.