where do you store yours?

When I was on shots/injections/whatever you wanna call 'em, I kept my insulin pens and cartridges in the fridge. When I went on vacation, I made sure the hotel had a mini fridge to store my insulin. At some point, over the years, I decided there was no point in keeping my insulin cold. I didn't think it had any affect on how effective it was, but now I am second guessing this. When my pump malfunctioned last year, I had to go back on shots for a few days. I was so not prepared for that, but I had tons of insulin pens in my parent's fridge, so I figured I'd be okay. Even though it was expired, I figured it would be safe and it was along the same lines of the FDA saying your sensor should be changed every 3 days. The injections seemed to work out fine, although it felt weird to be back on them, and my blood sugar was good during that time, so I can't help but wonder if it was because I had kept it stored in the fridge. This goes back to me trying to figure out why my humalog worked so wonderfully that first week, and then seemed to give up. I'm sure there is more to it (this is where me keeping a log comes in handy), but I still can't help but wonder...does keeping insulin in the fridge vs room temperature make a difference?

I'm trying to keep a log this week, especially since I'm seeing my endo next week. I think I need to make some insulin changes. I ate a bowl of cereal this morning (24 carbs) plus milk (9 carbs) = 33 carbs. I do 15:1 right now, so I bolused, waited maybe 5 minutes or so and then ate. I actually bolused for about 3 extra carbs because I thought I was going to have the full cup of milk, but only had about 3/4. If you're wondering why the carb amount seems low on the milk, it's actually a whole grain "milk" from Trader Joe's. As usual, my sensor showed me spiking up to the 300s and then started to drop around the 2 hour mark. I decided to wait a full 3 hours before testing my blood sugar and it showed me at 246. Not OK! I had only 0.4 units left so I needed a correction of 1.1. If I need a full unit to come down, it seems like my ratio is incorrect, right? Or maybe that's how it is for cereal? So many factors to consider!

the magic has worn off

I didn't intend to take a little blog break, but it happened. Busy at work, busy (well, busier) social life, and diabetes has been just kind of "meh" lately. My blood sugar hasn't been that ideal...when I changed to humalog, those first few days were excellent! It was almost like my body was like...hey, new insulin, I remember you. I liked you! I'm so glad you're back! I'm going to figure out everything for Val so she doesn't have to work too hard. And then...womp, womp.

I know it sounds strange, but I seriously feel like that humalog worked some magic those first few days, and now my body recognizes it and doesn't think it's so special anymore. Also, I see my endo in a couple weeks and I fear my a1c (which has already gotten to a not so ideal #), isn't going to be any better. If it's worse, well, I may cry. I'm not really in love with my endo though, so it may be time to find a new one. Last time I went into her office, she made me feel slightly bad/guilty for having a number in the 300s. I've never been that high when I go in there, but I had stacked a couple meals and she said it didn't matter...that my blood sugar should never be that high. She also has this weird way of "joking" that I don't really find funny, like when she commented on the fact I had gained 3 lbs since the last time I saw her. Ok, lady, I don't think that's too big of a deal...doesn't your weight FLUCTUATE up to 5 lbs. a day anyway? She wasn't saying it matter-of-fact either, it was more of a "joke" with the feel of a warning behind it...like, hey, you're gaining weight, fatty. I don't know...it's hard to explain.

I went off on a tangent there...all I was going to say was that I think I'm going to ask for apidra when I go in next, and somehow all of that spewed out. :)

Even though my numbers aren't so hot, I have been feeling better overall, and I think that has helped improve my mood. I haven't been too mad or down about diabetes, even with those less-than-ideal numbers. BUT, after reading some other peoples' posts, I realize I have really stopped bringing my A-game. I really need to figure out why my blood sugar isn't so hot anymore...duh, less exercising, more grazing, less paying attention to the reasons for why it's this way. But ya know, I need to look at the nitty gritty details of it all. So, I have to start a food log...I really do. And I have to keep it up.

On a more positive note, I have a bunch of friends coming into town this weekend, which is a coincidence, not a planned thing! My friend's bday was yesterday so we're celebrating this weekend/having a mini reunion with our friends who are visiting. AND the best part is I'm taking a half day tomorrow and taking Monday off. Yay! I really need a mini break from work. Hopefully the weather is nice this weekend, though I don't have high hopes. Weather.com said something about it being in the mid-50s and didn't show the sun coming out until next week. Hmph! AH well, I am used to it, I guess, though I think the Pacific NW has been crummier than usual lately and I can't wait for summer to get here.

Happy almost weekend, everyone!

please don't be a fluke!

Quick post because I am at work and reeeallly busy, but I HAVE TO BLOG ABOUT THIS (mostly for myself).

Yesterday, I talked about humalog vs. novolog. This morning, I had a breakfast that I eat pretty often...gave myself the normal amount of insulin and didn't really wait to eat. That was a couple hours ago and I am getting a teeny bit hungry for a small snack, so I decided to check my blood sugar just to see where it's at 2 hours after breakfast. Here's where I do my happy dance.

91! It has honestly been so long since I've seen a "good" number 2 hours after a meal. I've had so many spikes that I haven't been able to tame and usually my # 2 hours later is closer to 200...this has been going on for SO LONG that I cannot remember when I've had such an amazing number after eating. Yes, I am gushing, and yes it is kind of a weird thing to gush over. Again, it may be due to me being more active this last week, but I can't help but wonder if my body/blood sugar is reacting better to the different insulin.

Anyhoo. Having this happy moment is a nice change from the frustration of seeing a higher # than I'd like. It's a nice change from scowling at my glucose meter and muttering a "wtf" in my head. And I feel like I deserve a happy, "yay me" moment to negate all the terrible, unhappy moments I've been having lately. Time for a snack!

humalog vs novolog

I've had better blood sugar #s the last two days and I'm wondering if part of the reason is my switch back to humalog. When I first started on shots, I started with humalog and it worked well for me. Soon after I started getting my pump supplies through a medical company, they told me the only kind of insulin they could cover and ship was novolog. I was hesitant to switch, but my endo told me that insulin is pretty much the same...they all serve the same purpose, so I decided to switch to novolog because it was easier to get a 3 months supply and not worry about getting prescriptions and going to the pharmacy.

I don't know if it's a coincidence that I've had a harder time managing my diabetes since I switched to novolog...I am in no way blaming it because I know the bigger issue was me becoming more lax with my diet and not working out like I used to, but I've noticed these last 2 days have been a lot better for me. I haven't waited 15-20 min to eat; it seems to kick in right away whereas with novolog it seemed like I needed to wait a while for it to make a difference. But, I've also worked out 3 times this week, so I'm sure that helps a lot. I'll have to wait a while to see how my numbers are over the next few weeks, but it may be that humalog just works better for me. And if so, I want to kind of kick myself for ever using novolog!

I tried apidra once, but I don't remember how it worked for me. Now I'm curious what other people use and how it works for them. I never really thought about it until my insulin from the medical company finally ran out (as of last year, they no longer ship insulin). I didn't even think about having my endo write a prescription for insulin so that I could stockpile it, but oh well. My shipment lasted a long time, and when I was down to the last bottle, I decided to have my endo write an Rx for humalog.

This post is kind of boring, but I guess that's good sometimes. My numbers have been good, I worked out more this week than I have in months, and I am feeling a lot more positive! Nothing bad to report at the moment. :)

changing "I can't" to "I can"

Before I start in on this post, I wanted to clear up that post I wrote titled "FALSE information." I was really mad when I wrote that one and I don't even remember what I wrote exactly, but I wasn't trying to say that everyone should bolus for protein and fat. The point of that post was that dude with type 1 had put diabetes into a "one size fits all" approach and it bothered me. It bothered me that he completely discounted the idea of fat and protein playing a role in your diabetes management and insulin dosages. I realize that not everyone boluses the same and maybe there are some lucky people out there who don't bolus for their eggs or meat (not sure how you get away with that--doesn't fat and protein break down later for everyone?). But, I do believe that for most people, fat and protein plays a part in how you digest food, and I do know that fat can stay in your system for a looong time and give you higher blood sugar readings hours later, so...that's all.

OK, blog time.

Lately I've been having a lot more negative thoughts when it comes to my diabetes. When I was first diagnosed, I never really got angry or jealous or depressed. I just rolled with it and took it all in stride and figured it out. It's not like it made me incredibly happy, but my thoughts didn't spiral downward either. I think this is because I was in control more often than not and now I am not in control and it seems that I have to work harder to get back to that point. But, I have noticed that I've been thinking a lot more about how my life was like before diagnosis and how much I miss that freedom and flexibility I didn't realize I had before. I start to remember and picture moments of my life before D...to the point where I'm really not doing myself any justice and thinking about those memories is doing more harm than good. I also have become focused on how my life is different (and not in a positive way) and all the things I can't do or all the things that have become more difficult because of having diabetes. I never used to think like this in the "early days" of D. I never wanted to be labeled as different because of it; I never wanted special attention or help; I never thought of myself as being the person who wouldn't be in good control or the person who would develop complications--no, that wouldn't be me because I can do anything I want regardless of D.

Yes, that's how I used to think, but lately I have been in a "woe is me" state, and not only do I have to put more effort into getting my levels back to where they should be, I have to work harder at my mental health as well. Diabetes doesn't just affect just your physical well-being...it affects you mentally and emotionally. It can attack you relentlessly, and while you're already down and not feeling your strongest, it can make every little thing in your life seem harder. That's how it's been for me lately and I know that I need to make some kind of plan in order for me to take action and keep propelling forward.

the good kind of high

I've forgotten what it feels like--the post workout high. It feels AMAZING! I've been (once again) feeling really dizzy the last few days. I could barely even drive back and forth to work, and yesterday I didn't drive at all. I am sure that a big part of it is my blood sugar. Not only do I feel more sensitive to blood sugar changes, but I also feel low, dizzy, etc. when my blood sugar is within a normal range. I used to rarely have a high number, especially not a # in the 300s, and for the last year or so, it seems that I reach 300 almost daily. I am now working hard at having more stable numbers (like I used to), but it is really difficult because in the meantime, I feel like crap and it's been a struggle to ride it out and tell myself that my body will get re-adjusted to those more normal numbers.

Does anyone know how long it takes to not feel like crap while your body is re-adjusting to those "lower" numbers? Any insight would be greatly appreciated!

I know that this is my doing...I was the one who became more lax about my diet. I was the one who decided I deserved to indulge more during the holidays, which then carried into my regular diet. I was the one who started craving more sweets and decided to buy ice cream pints and eat the entire thing in one day. Although my diet has gotten back on track (mostly), my exercise routine has not. I used to be the person who worked out almost every day. At some point within the last 6 months+, I started putting in more hours at work and I started getting dizzier, and the thought of working out seemed like too much work. All I wanted to do after work was go home, lay down on the couch, and get something to eat. This unfortunately turned into a pattern...a very bad pattern, and it's something that I need to change because working out feels so good. Not only does it help stabilize my numbers, but it puts me in a better mood and makes me feel more mentally strong instead of wanting to collapse when the littlest thing goes wrong. It keeps those negative thoughts from spinning out of control and taking over. I know this, and now I just need to put it in action.

confused!

Another reason for why I'm down lately is I feel like I don't understand my blood sugar at ALL. Not even a little bit! I ate a little randomly around lunch time so I guessed at some boluses...I checked around 2 hours later and I was at 100 (much to my surprise). That being said, I had about 1 unit of insulin on board and I am leaving work in about an hour and planning on working out, so I decided to eat a couple of glucose tablets. I checked again 15 min later and my BG is 237. What! I don't get it? Why did it rise so much? The only thing I can think of is maybe my meter was off. Has anyone else had this problem? I'm not going to give a correction because it will probably drop a bit in the next hour and I DO want to work out so I don't mind if it's a little on the high side for now. Just not understanding right now...!